December 27, 2010

Sometimes I...

Sometimes I am plagued with many a fear and doubt. I name them here in an attempt to take way their sting...

- Sometimes I worry about being forgotten. Like one day I'll simply waste away into nothingness and nobody will even notice that I'm gone.

- Sometimes I think what I do have in this life will be taken away from me and I'll be left completely alone

- Sometimes I'm scared that all the pain, grief, and hardship is for nothing

- Sometimes I feel like I'm always left out - like I don't belong anywhere,

- Sometimes I fear I'll never amount to anything

- Sometimes I think I'm too much of a freak - always destined to be on the outside looking in.

- Sometimes I'm completely overwhelmed by feelings of inferiority

- Sometimes I worry I have forgotten too much and remember too little about a person that meant so very much

- Sometimes I'm terrified that I'm so broken that I'll never be set right

- Sometimes I...

- Sometimes I...

- Sometimes I...

Does this ever happen to you? Or am I the only one tormented by my own mind? I know this is 'stinking thinking' and I am desperately trying to change the track. It's just that lately it always seems to be bubbling away under the surface waiting for the perfect moment of weakness to mount its attack.

Sorry to have written a dower, whining post but that's what I'm battling at the moment. Logically I know that there's hope and sunshine. But I can't see it for the clouds are obscuring my view.

How do you change the track?

Quick!! Where's my emergency chocolate?

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