April 29, 2010


At the moment my daydreams are far better than reality…

In my daydreams I slay dragons. I converse with a myriad of mythical creatures.

Men who are smart, witty, talented and fun find me irresistible and interesting.

In my daydreams I am strong and brave and fun. I am vivacious and free.

My daydreams allow me to follow my dreams – I am always an author/artist/photographer. I have the freedom to follow my passions without stress or worry. And I manage to earn money from my art.

My daydreams are not without problems – there are always insurmountable tribulations that need to be faced. But I always win out in the end and I face them with grace.

I am talented and smart. And for some reason aforementioned man always thinks I’m beautiful (even though I remain the plain jane I am).

Mostly in my daydreams I find my place in the world and I live my life well. I am comfortable and I don’t have to try so hard.

I am forced to wonder if I have spent entirely too much time in the company of fictional characters that I have begun to expect far too much from life.

So the question is… will reality ever overtake my daydreams?


Well it's been a long while since my last post... There is a reason for this... I've been feeling pretty low...

I mean very low...

I mean REALLY low...

While I know that I will experience a brighter tomorrow I am currently stuck in a bit of a pit of despair... While I hold out hope and hold on this is where I'm currently at.

There is a lament and a dissatisfaction in my very soul. I feel so alone, forgotten and terribly lost... I don't know where to go from here... I'm tattered, bruised and broken - with no clue how to get back to where I was. I have my faith, I always have my faith, but everything feels distorted...

I am so tired, so incredibly exhausted.


My heart cries out for an end to this test. I'd even settle for a brief moratorium.

It feels like not many people accept me for who I am... Instead trying to force me into becoming someone I'm not. Let me be who I am and love me for who I am... I'm odd, I'm different, I see the world in a different light. Is that really such a bad thing?

There is a bright end to this tale of woe... While I feel like most of my life has taken a bit of a tumble I have thrown myself headlong into my new passion - photography. It is a rare day that I don't have my camera in my hands. Whenever I have my camera I feel at home. I can see the beauty of the world more clearly and I feel safe.

I just want to take photos of everything! My two passions (Literature and Photography) are waring against each other and currently photography is winning... I'm not sure what this means...
But in the mean time I'll hope this emotional distress will end... That the sun will set on this test and that there will be light at the end of this long dark tunnel...

I hope your week has been better than mine...