December 11, 2009

My latest artwork...

Hey there!!

I thought I'd share the work of art that's bringing my the most joy at the moment - my latest tattoo! Introducing my latest literary tattoo...

I obviously added the purple boarder... Just to make it a little more interesting!

My latest tattoo is located on my left shoulder blade and I love it!! The only thing I don't like it that it's located on my back (duh!) so I can't see how pretty it is. I'd love to look at it all the time. On reflection, it's probably best that it's on my back or else I'd end up detracted all the time.

For those of you who don't know the word this is the dictionary definition:


–noun a person who loves or collects books

That EXACTLY describes what I am. I adore books!! I could quite happily read all day every day.

I also wanted the picture of the book flipping open to help explain what bibliophile means. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that have misunderstood the meaning of the tattoo or people wondering if I'd made up the word!

But I love my latest tattoo! I love books, I love reading and I love writing. I feel that this tattoo is a fantastic outward expression of one of my key passions in life. I love that my body is permanently marked as what I am.

I've become addicted to tattoos... I think it's wonderful that you can express what is most important to you on the most important canvas you own - your body. Now I'm not going to get covered in tattoos but I do agree with a quote I read somewhere that "tattoos are like life's mile-makers". Even when I'm old and wrinkly and the tattoos don't look so good anymore I will still be able to look at my tattoos and be reminded of these important parts of my life.

But I do think that if you want a tattoo you should think long and hard about it...It is the most permanent thing you can possibly do.

Now to answer a couple of questions:
1) I really didn't find that it hurt that much. However, I have a really high pain threshold so I probably am not the best judge...

2) I wasn't scared... I have put three years worth of though into these tattoos. I drew the book to make sure it was exactly what I wanted. I researched shops to make sure I went to an excellent shop that was clean and up to health standards and had artists who's work was amazing. My artist was perfect making sure that I was comfortable and warning me about things that were going to happen (I was worried about if I even could get tattooed due to my disability). My artist worked around my limitations and ensuring that I was happy through out the experience.

3) I'm not just joining the masses because tattoos are 'in' at the moment. I decided to get them as a form of self-expression. These tattoos were just for me - not to fit in, not to be cool, not to be different - but just an outlet for me. It my ultimate form of self-expression

In case you're interested my tattoo shop is: Vision Skin. These guys are pros - they have done some beautiful work on my brother as well. Clean premises, extremely hygienic and absolutely awesome artists. Here's their website if you're interested:

I have three more tattoos planned and I can't wait to get them done... I might put up my designs for you to look at

So do you have tattoos? What are your thoughts on the rise of literary tattoos? If you'd like to see some more go to this site: (Some truly amazing tattoos on this site!)

Until next time bloggers I wait impatiently for my next tattoo... What about you?

December 10, 2009

Beauty Abounds!

There is beauty all around us sometimes it's in the little things... Like this picture:

Just a close-up of a $10 earing but yet so intricate.

Then there's beauty in unexpected places...

This is a head-stone but I find it so peaceful

There's the beauty founds in music

Beauty can be found in the faces of friends and family

The beauty of words and books

And then there's the blow your mind beauty like below

I can't take the credit for these two pictures, it was taken by a friend of mine but every time I look at it my breath catches.

Where do you find beauty?

Hello Blogger Buddies...

I know, I know! It has been a really long time since I've posted - and I don't even have the excuse of uni work at the moment!

I just got completely overwhelmed and ended up neglecting the things I love most (i.e. blogging, writing, painting, taking photos) and it's exactly those things that keep me sane.

But I'm getting too far ahead of myself. So, instead, let me share what's been going on in my world...

I have made many - a great, great many - a mistake this year. One of my greatest mistakes, however, was trying to do it all. Trying to keep up with everyone's pace of life and trying to be an important member of every team.

On other words, friends, I stretched myself too thin. I was working, I was doing uni and I was heavily involved in my church group - undertaking tasks that just aren't me.

I burnt myself out and I burnt myself out bad. I was trying so hard just to keep up that I was falling majorly behind.

Before I go on there's something you need to know about me... I love uni! I mean I positively L-O-V-E it!!! Uni is one of my favorite things in the whole world. If I got my way I'd be there 7 days a week for many many hours of the day. I dedicate myself to my studies and - this part is going to sound like I'm tooting my own horn - I get great grades. I usually get 6's or 7 (distinctions and high distinctions)

This past semester when I was trying to keep up with the Jones so to speak, I got the worst grades I've ever received at uni. 2 credits (about a 4 or 5)!! It was heart-breaking. My thing!! My passion!! And I am screwing it up!!! It was truly terrifying... I mean there I am with a plan to go for Honors, then do a Masters and complete a PhD while lecturing. That's what I want to be, at the end of this exceptionally long road, I want to teach at uni. And there I sat, with two credits, feeling like I could see all my hopes and dreams slowly circling the drain.

To add insult to injury, these grades weren't for required subjects or units that I wasn't interested in. They were my pet subjects - English Literature. My passion! (Obviously, I want to lecture in English Literature if I ever obtain my dream). My lecturer even mentioned that he was surprised at my work because it wasn't to my usual quality. Knife in the heart!

But back to the original point. My uni work suffered because I was trying SO HARD to be like every one else. My passion was pushed to the side because I felt like I wasn't doing enough. Because I wasn't measuring up to what I saw everyone lives to be. I mean, I see people working full-time, while studying full-time, running a house-hold and running a whole department at church. I wasn't even doing HALF that and I wasn't able to keep it together. I was spent, I was done...

Then a friend reminded me that I wasn't required to be like every one else... I was just required to be me. (This seems to be a reoccurring theme of this blog. Sorry!) My friend then went on by prompting me to realise that I'm dealing with more than the average person...And what is average anyway?... But I'm not only making my way through life with a disability but I also have chronic nerve pain. There is no such thing as true rest in my world - there's a lot of pain and there's slightly muted pain. It never stops. And I've got to tell you there are days when it feels like a real achievement if I manage to get out of bed in the morning!

So the long and the short of it is that I am now going to be working to my strengths and working at my level rather than just keeping up. At church I'm no longer involved in everything to do with the department instead I have one little bit that I watch over - a blog for all those people who express themselves creatively rather than being super-social. That's pretty much me to a tee (link to come soon). At work I'm switching to a client with hours that suit me better and is closer to home. And at the end of it all - this whole re-shuffle - I will be given the opportunity to re-focus on uni and give it the proper attention it needs and deserves. So instead of trying to do everything and doing them at about 50% I can focus on a couple of key areas and devote my 100%, my all to them.

So the moral of the story - for me at least - is to work to your strengths and find your fit in life and don't worry about what other people are or aren't doing. Focus on your key areas and give them your all.

All this allows me the time and freedom to focus on uni and to indulge my creative side (honestly I think that's the only side I have!). I now have guilt-free days where I paint, write, read or take photos...

From now on this blog won't be about lessons that I'm learning (however, these will probably come out in my writings... As I re-read my previous posts I seem to lecture while being incredibly introspective. How boring! I'll try and not do that so much!)

Instead this blog will be a space for my creativity and inspiration. It will include
- poetry
- short-stories
- paintings
- general writings
- photographs
- whatever else takes my fancy

Stay safe my blogger friends... Until next time

October 13, 2009

The Emancipation of Me

You want to know what? I love being me!!! I mean I ABSOLUTELY LOVE being me!!!

I mean yeah sure there is many a time that I wish I wasn't dealing with chronic pain -
every single day of my life. There are times - very few - times that I wish that I wasn't dealing with the struggle of dealing with a disability and living life with an immune system that can't seem to keep the littlest bug out...

But on the whole I love my life and I love being me... Some awesome things are: I get great parking (gotta love that disability parking sticker!) and I get money from the government for just being disabled (seriously I love Australia!! The disability pension is such a help).

Most of all I love the absolute freedom to just let my hair down and just be me... I am a weirdo.. SERIOUSLY!! I am a quirky little nerd who lives with her head in the clouds - and I love it.

I'm so ecstatic with life... I am emancipated from society's expectations!! People who see me walking (well, more accurately limping slightly) down the street would never really expect me to be who I am - a really quirky nerd who reads, writes, blogs, paints, works and studies. There is such a freedom in that - I can be and do whatever I want to do.

My best friend can up with a catch phrase to help define me if you will and it is exactly what I am...

I am not bound by the constraints of normality!

I am not, nor have I ever been, normal... I was counted out of that race the minute I was disabled. But instead of trying to fight this - fighting to fit in - I have decided to just be exactly who I am. No worry about pretense or trying to fit into a certain mold... I'm just me - as you are just you.

I've got to tell you once I accepted that I was different - that knowledge was like a breath of fresh air, so freeing, so relaxing. I have had the awesome chance to just relax into myself. So what if I'm different - EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!! EVERYONE IS UNIQUE!! I just enjoy it a little more...

So anyways, the reason for this post is to tell you all about how I celebrated my emancipation from society's expectations and how I expressed to the whole world that I am happy with who I am... I got a tattoo!! Here's a picture of it...

And I positively love my tattoo. Because whenever I feel like I should be fitting in I just look at my wrist and I'm reminded that I'm 'Usually Unusual' - well, a good friend of mine quite rightfully pointed out that I'm always unusual but that didn't sound as good!

The point is I'm done trying to fit in; trying to be normal. As one of my sappy movies says "Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you're born to stand out?'

From this point on I'm going to just be me; not caring what other people think of me; not worrying if I'm dressed right; not stressing over if I'm going to the cool places or listening to the 'right' bands. I chose to fully embrace who I am...

I am...
a nerd
a hippy
a daydreamer
a poet
a thinker
a student
a painter
a lover of Literature
a writer
a photographer
an oddity
a bibliophile
a passionate pursuer of LIFE
a (wannabe) world traveler
an all round quirky person
a blogger

And I love it!!

So what about you? Embrace all that YOU are for there is only one you in this world and the world would be so much duller without you in it!! Enlighten me, who are you?

September 30, 2009

A not-so-ordinary Life

So today's a pretty special day for me. Today I celebrate the anniversary of my death. Yep you read right, on this day 25 years ago my mother came in to find me clinically dead in my cot... It's a pretty interesting story (or at least I think so!)... So get yourself comfortable and let me tell you all about one of the most defining moments of my life...

I was born in Brisbane but I had my first overseas plane trip when I was around 8 days old -- and I had my second overseas plane trip when I was 13 days old. But I'm getting ahead of myself... My family lived in Papua New Guinea (PNG) at the time because my dad was a missionary pilot up there so my mum, my two brothers along with the new addition (me!) were going back home. All appeared fine until my mum came to check on me on the morning of the 30th of September.

Mum was concerned that I wasn't making the usual waking up noises. When she saw me she instantly knew something was wrong, something was VERY wrong. For one thing I was a unusual colour and when she searched for a heartbeat or breath she found neither. Now my mum is a highly trained nurse and her fist thought was that it was all too late to save me; that I was already gone. About that time my dad came crashing through the room and started resuscitation efforts. Mum and another missionary nurse got into the act so I had other people breathing for me and making my little heart beat.

I was in obvious need of serious medical attention so we needed to get me to Australia and quick so a quick drive down to the airstrip with the whole family was in order. Once we got to the airstrip there was nothing short of a miracle - a doctor was there. Now you have to understand, these are third world conditions we are talking about; there were no doctors. But just when we needed one, one just happened to be there.

There are a great many little stories along the way such as random pilots giving their oxygen tanks to my dad to try and keep me alive. Some where during the flight to Australia I started to take a few breaths on my own.

When we were safely in an Australian hospital and I was hooked up to a great many machines the doctors pulled my parents aside. It was suggested that it might be the most humane thing to just let me go - my parents weren't exactly keen on the idea.

But I pulled through those first rocky days. Still the doctors
outlook wasn't good but I just kept getting better. My parents were told I'd be in a vegetated state or at least severely disabled. I'd never walk, write, talk, read or lead anything resembling a fulfilling life.

Now look at my life -- it didn't turn out how it was supposed to. I walk - yes with a bit of a limp but it's still walking, I drive a normal car, I talk (some may say a little too much!), I write - poetry, novels, speeches, assignments, I read - I'm studying English Literature at university and maintaining an A average, I have an active social life and I'm living my life to the fullest. I'm not writing this for all to say how great I am...

I'm writing this to say that you can do whatever you want. Don't let others put limitations on you. I could have quite easily said "I
have cerebral palsy and it's all too hard (and sometimes it is a struggle)" but my parents always told me to reach for the stars and that way even if you miss you'll end up amongst the stars. Life is there to be lived so why not have fun with it? Why not embrace life and who you are and enjoy the ride? Except nothing less that YOUR best - not anyone else's best but yours!

Most of all enjoy who you are! I love being able to look back at my life and see how far I've come. I intend to make the most of the li
fe and live it to it's fullest and not waste a minute on regret. What about you?


Words of Wisdom

With so much wisdom out there it's hard to narrow things down into a couple of words of wisdom. But there's a phrase that were given to me as a child - by my astonishingly wise parents - that has stuck with me and helped me all through my life and will no doubt continue to inspire me.

- God don't make junk!
This one was particularly helpful to me growing up. For those who haven't read my blog I have a disability - mild cerebral palsy - and there were times when I would question why I wasn't 'normal'. Particularly after the other kids in the playground were mean to me - I couldn't understand why I was different. I started to think that God had made a mistake when He was creating me... But my parents and other lovely people reminded me and continue to remind me that just because I'm different doesn't mean I'm junk. Just because I'm not classically beautiful doesn't mean I'm not beautiful in my own way. This little phrase let me fully embrace who I am and not worry about what others think of me... All that really matters is what God thinks of me and that He thinks I'm beautiful! By being just who I am - nothing more, nothing less - I have amassed a group of wonderful friends and fantastic family who love me as I am. What more could a girl ask for?

September 27, 2009

Oh Bloggerdom how I have missed thee...

It occurs to me that it has been ages since I have last posted... I have strangely missed it - feeling slightly detached from a part of myself. I can only blame uni, work, sickness and unending busyness. But excuses no more!

There is a build up of words in my soul just aching for release. So I shall post my own words again soon. But to get me back into the blogging spirit I will share one of my favorite poems... This poem is by Christian Rossetti and it's entitled Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning to stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Melancholy I know... But those words contain such depth of feeling I cannot help but be swept away...

The words belong to Christina Rossetti - the picture belongs to me...

August 20, 2009

Identity In Christ

This is a poem I wrote when I started thinking about the struggle of self-image

Found in You - Conversations with myself and My Lord
By Tafline

Nervously tugging at the hem
Trying desperately to fit in
Are my clothes right?
All the while trying to fit but never quite

Feel I'll never be smart enough
Cool enough, Pretty enough
Desperately trying to fit in
Does anyone care what lies beneath this skin?

Panic sets in
They'll know
Know I don't belong
Just waiting for it all to go horribly wrong

Lord, You tap me on the shoulder
To remind me that You're here
With you, my God, I'm finally free
Free to just be me

My identity found in You, my Lord
And so I revel in the fact
That You made me
Exactly who you want me to be


I believe that we should embrace our eccentricities and realize that God has called you to just be you. The amazing freedom of God's love gives you the opportunity to relax into yourself and not be wrapped up in the pretense.

August 13, 2009

Some more poetry by me

Because we all need a catharsis and this is mine...

Let Me Be by Tafline

Every time I close my eyes

You are there

I try to get some distance

Please say, “I don’t want you”

On the screen in my mind

You’re always showing

The dreams stop and start

Jarring my brain

Trying to make sense of it

There is no way away from you

Seeing you, thinking of you


Leave me alone

Detachment is needed

I can’t breathe

You’re stealing my air

With you I am monochrome

I need colour

I need light

Let me live… without you

The Darkness by Tafline

(Please note: the use of the words "the black" are by no means racial in any way, shape or form... It is meant as a metaphor for depression!!! No offense intended!)

Completely submerged in the black

Straining to break free

My mouth screams

To chase away impending dark

The black leaks into my veins

Becoming a very part of me

I feel it now, surging within me

Overtaking my brain

My words, thoughts and memories are gone

Taken by the black

Stealing every part of me

The black destroying all

The black overcomes me

I know that it is over now

I am no longer my own

For I AM the black

Waking Dreams by Tafline

In my daydreams you are mine

As I close my eyes

I know what you’ll say

I know what I’ll do

‘Cause in my daydreams I know the real YOU!

Reality fades as I picture it

You and I together

Facing whatever comes

Finding strength in you

In my daydreams no one knows me like you do

Background noise

The real world intrudes

Ripping me away

‘Will you visit again?’

My daydream answers ‘On that you can depend’

My eyes slowly reopen

It all comes flooding back

For only cold-lighted reality remains

And so I choose

In wakeful dreaming…

To return to you


As always these poems belong to my imagination

August 11, 2009

Blog This What’s sitting on my bedside table


I read such a great many books – it’s hard to decide which books to post on. Now I don’t actually have a bedside table instead I have I had HUGE bookcase right next to my bed.

I read EVERYTHING!! Even if it’s a truly BAD novel I still get right into it.

But now to chat about some of the books I am currently reading:

1) DRACULA by Bram Stoker

Now, I have read Dracula before but I have to read it again for my university course. I am now reading it looking at it through different literary theories. Dracula is one of the first true horror books which is fill of imagery and is truly scary. They don’t write them like this anymore. Reading it from this different angle has really opened my eyes up to the unsaid aspects of the novel. I am finding it so hard to not just get swept up in this novel (as I usually do) but to try and sit down and analyse it.

2) THE NORTON ANTHOLOGY OF POERTY by ed Ferguson, Salter and Stallworthy

This is just a wonderful collection on poetry from all such a wide range of dates. In it you can find poetry to fit your every mood and feeling. Just a lovely collection of all different kinds of poetry to meet all kinds of moods.

3) DREAMS FROM MY FATHER by Barack Obama

I confess I read this book a little while ago and yet I am still blown away by it and think of it often. This book is of course the now president’s memoirs ranging from his birth until his discission to go to law school – (I’m working on THE AUDACUTY OF HOPE at the moment; which covers from law school onwards)

This book is such a completely honest look at his struggle of him trying to find his way in the world and dealing with issues of race, integrity and identity. What I appreciate most about this book is that it is an unflinching look at his formative life. He doesn’t shy away from awkward aspects of life or tries to gloss over the different areas. This book is a simply must read!


THE EYRE AFFAIR by Jasper Fforde

Anyone who is into reading should read these books!! They are so full of little salutes to books that have gone before and so, so, SO funny!! It’s extremely satirical and just beautiful. Wonderful imagery with characters you can really connect with.

It’s just a wonderful idea with a main character who’s a literary detective who has to deal with time worm hole, a father t

hat disappears and reappears into existence and best of all a main character that can jump in and out of books… But enough on my take on the book… Let me read you to back cover:

“Meet Thursday Next, literary detective without equal, fear or boyfriend.

There is another 1985, where London’s criminal gangs have moved into the lucrative literary market, and Thursday Next is on the trail of the new crime wave’s Mr Big

Acheron Hades has been kidnapping characters from the works of fiction and holding them to ransom. Jane Eyre is gone. Missing. Kidnapped.

Thursday sets out to find a way into the book to repair the damage. But solving crimes against literature isn’t easy when you also have to find time to halt the Crimean War, persuade the man you love to marry you, and figure out who really wrote Shakespeare’s plays.

Perhaps today just isn’t going to be Thursday’s day. Join her on a truly breathtaking adventure, and find out for yourself. Fiction will never be the same again…”

Do yourself a favour and read the series so worth it!

As to where I can my hands on my beloved books… I get them anywhere regularly visiting the 3 libraries closes to my house; buying them from all the major book stores plus visiting a fair few second-hand bookstores (there’s one right near my house) and if in doubt there’s always Amazon!!

I tend to just read anything, however, if I am able to find an author that I like I tend to buy every possible book written by them. I read fiction (all types of fiction fantasy, horror, romance, si-fi) and non-fiction (biographies, recipe books,). There are occasionally books that I positively hang out for – one’s that I have on order and am pacing in front of the store waiting for the doors to open.

But if in doubt there’s always the back up of the lovely classics!!!

So there are a couple of the books on my bedside table!

August 9, 2009

Some things by me

I like to write fiction, speeches, plays, poetry... Anything that's a creative outlet and I find my release.

I find, however, that my poetry is so much more personal to me. It's like my diary and my therapy all rolled into one. Parts of me are found in every line.

So I'm launching some them out into the big wide wonderful world of the net... Who knows maybe you can relate to some of the thoughts, feeling and themes as expressed in these poems.

BREATHE ~ by Tafline

Gasping, Reaching -
Can't get enough

Wanting, needing -
Please give me some

Wishing, struggling -
Unable to breathe in

Breath escaping -
Why can't I get

Heart crying -
I just need some

Lungs constricting -
No more

Brain screaming -
Just give me some

Life flashing -
Unfit for

Soul dying -
Powerless to fight for

Consciousness fading -
No need for


Don't Talk To Me Before Coffee ~ by Tafline

Awake, awake, awake!
Screams the day
Sleep, sleep, SLEEP!
Moans the body
"Time to get up"
Birds snidely sing
No, no, no
Laments the brain
Out of bed
Chirps the alarm
Just 5 minutes more
Begs the soul
'It's 9 am. This is your wake up call'
Bleats the voice in the phone

Surrendered to slumber no more
Stumbling out of bed
Needing something to wake the sleeping dead
Switching on the saving grace
The sweetest nectar of all
Dripping through dark brown gold
Aroma fills the room, fills the senses
Can't wait to get that first hit
Bitter sweetness tickles the taste buds
Scorching liquid burns on its way down
Caffeine hits the bloodstream
Buzzing through the veins
Ready to face the day

More to come soon...

(These works are the property of my imagination!!)

August 8, 2009

As so stated

So that was a quick interlude... But as stated in my "About Me" section I like to read... A lot... A WHOLE LOT... In fact there is little I like better than to settle down with a book, any book, it doesn't even have to be a good book - as long as it's in English (for alas that is the only language I can read) I will happily read it.

Si-fi, romance, horror, historical, biographical it makes no never mind to me. There is nothing better than losing yourself in a book and completely forgetting what's going on in your life for a while. As such I was searching on deviantART the other day and I can across this picture that completely reminded me of... well... me!

This is what I look like after a visit to the second-hand bookstore or really any bookstore!~! [This picture can be found here: (No copyright infringement intended!)]

I mean I study English Literature at uni!! How fantastic is it that you can go and study what you love?

There is even a second-hand bookstore really close to my house - which receives half my paycheck it feels - and the shop assistants there are wonderful... They remember what I like to read and what I brought previous times. So this serves as a shout-out to the wonderful ladies at my second-hand book store. You gals are great!!! And since we're on the subject a HUGE shout-out to my mum who instilled in me my passion for reading to begin with.

I love it that reading is enjoying a resurgence of late thanks to books like Harry Potter and Twilight. Say what you will about them but reading is becoming cool again (finally I'm in with the in crowd!!)

The absolute BEST thing about reading though is that 10 different people can read the same book and interpret it 10 different ways. There is rarely a right or wrong answer - it's completely freeing. So go on, do yourself a favor and pick up a book!

In finishing my soliloquy about books and reading... Any suggestions as to what I can read next?

Joining the masses

And so, dear friends, I have decided to join the teeming masses into blogger-dom. In point of order, I don’t believe introductions have been made. Here are the vital statistics:
Name: Tafline (My mum got it from a book called "Scend of the Sea" by Geoffrey Jenkins)

Job: Disability Support Worker and student

Studying: Bachelor of Arts with a double major in English Literature

What do I hope to be when I grow up: A University lecturer while being a published author who dabbles in art and photography (nothing like hedging your bets)

Now, down to the important stuff… Why at long last did I finally relent and become a blogger? Well, first because my best friend (who, by the by, is seriously one of the best people I know) suggested it. Second, I find myself in need of another creative outlet while studying. Third, it would be fantastic to get my art (written works, photographs and paintings) out into wider society. And finally, I am interested to find whether it is a relief and release to make my thoughts know to people other than me.

So there it is… my first post… as I re-read this I find that it is leaning on the maudlin, rest assured, dear reader, it will not always be this way…

Until the next time I feel so lead to publish my thoughts...