Identity In Christ

This is a poem I wrote when I started thinking about the struggle of self-image

Found in You - Conversations with myself and My Lord
By Tafline

Nervously tugging at the hem
Trying desperately to fit in
Are my clothes right?
All the while trying to fit but never quite

Feel I'll never be smart enough
Cool enough, Pretty enough
Desperately trying to fit in
Does anyone care what lies beneath this skin?

Panic sets in
They'll know
Know I don't belong
Just waiting for it all to go horribly wrong

Lord, You tap me on the shoulder
To remind me that You're here
With you, my God, I'm finally free
Free to just be me

My identity found in You, my Lord
And so I revel in the fact
That You made me
Exactly who you want me to be

~~~~~

I believe that we should embrace our eccentricities and realize that God has called you to just be you. The amazing freedom of God's love gives you the opportunity to relax into yourself and not be wrapped up in the pretense.

Some more poetry by me

Because we all need a catharsis and this is mine...



Let Me Be by Tafline

Every time I close my eyes

You are there

I try to get some distance

Please say, “I don’t want you”

On the screen in my mind

You’re always showing

The dreams stop and start

Jarring my brain

Trying to make sense of it

There is no way away from you

Seeing you, thinking of you

YOU, YOU, YOU!!!

Leave me alone

Detachment is needed

I can’t breathe

You’re stealing my air

With you I am monochrome

I need colour

I need light

Let me live… without you
------

The Darkness by Tafline

(Please note: the use of the words "the black" are by no means racial in any way, shape or form... It is meant as a metaphor for depression!!! No offense intended!)

Completely submerged in the black

Straining to break free

My mouth screams

To chase away impending dark

The black leaks into my veins

Becoming a very part of me

I feel it now, surging within me

Overtaking my brain

My words, thoughts and memories are gone

Taken by the black

Stealing every part of me

The black destroying all

The black overcomes me

I know that it is over now

I am no longer my own

For I AM the black

****
Waking Dreams by Tafline

In my daydreams you are mine

As I close my eyes

I know what you’ll say

I know what I’ll do

‘Cause in my daydreams I know the real YOU!

Reality fades as I picture it

You and I together

Facing whatever comes

Finding strength in you

In my daydreams no one knows me like you do

Background noise

The real world intrudes

Ripping me away

‘Will you visit again?’

My daydream answers ‘On that you can depend’

My eyes slowly reopen

It all comes flooding back

For only cold-lighted reality remains

And so I choose

In wakeful dreaming…

To return to you

+++++++

As always these poems belong to my imagination

Blog This What’s sitting on my bedside table

Source: http://nohbdyshome.deviantart.com/art/books-and-chair-10396679

I read such a great many books – it’s hard to decide which books to post on. Now I don’t actually have a bedside table instead I have I had HUGE bookcase right next to my bed.

I read EVERYTHING!! Even if it’s a truly BAD novel I still get right into it.

But now to chat about some of the books I am currently reading:

1) DRACULA by Bram Stoker

Now, I have read Dracula before but I have to read it again for my university course. I am now reading it looking at it through different literary theories. Dracula is one of the first true horror books which is fill of imagery and is truly scary. They don’t write them like this anymore. Reading it from this different angle has really opened my eyes up to the unsaid aspects of the novel. I am finding it so hard to not just get swept up in this novel (as I usually do) but to try and sit down and analyse it.

2) THE NORTON ANTHOLOGY OF POERTY by ed Ferguson, Salter and Stallworthy

This is just a wonderful collection on poetry from all such a wide range of dates. In it you can find poetry to fit your every mood and feeling. Just a lovely collection of all different kinds of poetry to meet all kinds of moods.

3) DREAMS FROM MY FATHER by Barack Obama

I confess I read this book a little while ago and yet I am still blown away by it and think of it often. This book is of course the now president’s memoirs ranging from his birth until his discission to go to law school – (I’m working on THE AUDACUTY OF HOPE at the moment; which covers from law school onwards)

This book is such a completely honest look at his struggle of him trying to find his way in the world and dealing with issues of race, integrity and identity. What I appreciate most about this book is that it is an unflinching look at his formative life. He doesn’t shy away from awkward aspects of life or tries to gloss over the different areas. This book is a simply must read!

4)

THE EYRE AFFAIR by Jasper Fforde

Anyone who is into reading should read these books!! They are so full of little salutes to books that have gone before and so, so, SO funny!! It’s extremely satirical and just beautiful. Wonderful imagery with characters you can really connect with.

It’s just a wonderful idea with a main character who’s a literary detective who has to deal with time worm hole, a father t

hat disappears and reappears into existence and best of all a main character that can jump in and out of books… But enough on my take on the book… Let me read you to back cover:

“Meet Thursday Next, literary detective without equal, fear or boyfriend.

There is another 1985, where London’s criminal gangs have moved into the lucrative literary market, and Thursday Next is on the trail of the new crime wave’s Mr Big

Acheron Hades has been kidnapping characters from the works of fiction and holding them to ransom. Jane Eyre is gone. Missing. Kidnapped.

Thursday sets out to find a way into the book to repair the damage. But solving crimes against literature isn’t easy when you also have to find time to halt the Crimean War, persuade the man you love to marry you, and figure out who really wrote Shakespeare’s plays.

Perhaps today just isn’t going to be Thursday’s day. Join her on a truly breathtaking adventure, and find out for yourself. Fiction will never be the same again…”

Do yourself a favour and read the series so worth it!

As to where I can my hands on my beloved books… I get them anywhere regularly visiting the 3 libraries closes to my house; buying them from all the major book stores plus visiting a fair few second-hand bookstores (there’s one right near my house) and if in doubt there’s always Amazon!!

I tend to just read anything, however, if I am able to find an author that I like I tend to buy every possible book written by them. I read fiction (all types of fiction fantasy, horror, romance, si-fi) and non-fiction (biographies, recipe books,). There are occasionally books that I positively hang out for – one’s that I have on order and am pacing in front of the store waiting for the doors to open.

But if in doubt there’s always the back up of the lovely classics!!!

So there are a couple of the books on my bedside table!

Some things by me

I like to write fiction, speeches, plays, poetry... Anything that's a creative outlet and I find my release.

I find, however, that my poetry is so much more personal to me. It's like my diary and my therapy all rolled into one. Parts of me are found in every line.

So I'm launching some them out into the big wide wonderful world of the net... Who knows maybe you can relate to some of the thoughts, feeling and themes as expressed in these poems.

BREATHE ~ by Tafline


Gasping, Reaching -
Can't get enough
Air!!!!

Wanting, needing -
Please give me some
Air

Wishing, struggling -
Unable to breathe in
Air

Breath escaping -
Why can't I get
Air?

Heart crying -
I just need some
Air!!

Lungs constricting -
No more
Air

Brain screaming -
Just give me some
Air!!!!

Life flashing -
Unfit for
Air

Soul dying -
Powerless to fight for
Air...

Consciousness fading -
No need for
Air

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't Talk To Me Before Coffee ~ by Tafline

Awake, awake, awake!
Screams the day
Sleep, sleep, SLEEP!
Moans the body
"Time to get up"
Birds snidely sing
No, no, no
Laments the brain
Out of bed
Chirps the alarm
Just 5 minutes more
Begs the soul
'It's 9 am. This is your wake up call'
Bleats the voice in the phone

Surrendered to slumber no more
Stumbling out of bed
Needing something to wake the sleeping dead
Switching on the saving grace
The sweetest nectar of all
Dripping through dark brown gold
Aroma fills the room, fills the senses
Can't wait to get that first hit
Bitter sweetness tickles the taste buds
Scorching liquid burns on its way down
Caffeine hits the bloodstream
Buzzing through the veins
FINALLY
Ready to face the day

~~~~~
More to come soon...

(These works are the property of my imagination!!)

As so stated

So that was a quick interlude... But as stated in my "About Me" section I like to read... A lot... A WHOLE LOT... In fact there is little I like better than to settle down with a book, any book, it doesn't even have to be a good book - as long as it's in English (for alas that is the only language I can read) I will happily read it.

Si-fi, romance, horror, historical, biographical it makes no never mind to me. There is nothing better than losing yourself in a book and completely forgetting what's going on in your life for a while. As such I was searching on deviantART the other day and I can across this picture that completely reminded me of... well... me!




This is what I look like after a visit to the second-hand bookstore or really any bookstore!~! [This picture can be found here: http://m0thyyku.deviantart.com/art/passion-weight-117962217 (No copyright infringement intended!)]

I mean I study English Literature at uni!! How fantastic is it that you can go and study what you love?

There is even a second-hand bookstore really close to my house - which receives half my paycheck it feels - and the shop assistants there are wonderful... They remember what I like to read and what I brought previous times. So this serves as a shout-out to the wonderful ladies at my second-hand book store. You gals are great!!! And since we're on the subject a HUGE shout-out to my mum who instilled in me my passion for reading to begin with.

I love it that reading is enjoying a resurgence of late thanks to books like Harry Potter and Twilight. Say what you will about them but reading is becoming cool again (finally I'm in with the in crowd!!)

The absolute BEST thing about reading though is that 10 different people can read the same book and interpret it 10 different ways. There is rarely a right or wrong answer - it's completely freeing. So go on, do yourself a favor and pick up a book!

In finishing my soliloquy about books and reading... Any suggestions as to what I can read next?

Joining the masses

And so, dear friends, I have decided to join the teeming masses into blogger-dom. In point of order, I don’t believe introductions have been made. Here are the vital statistics:
Name: Tafline (My mum got it from a book called "Scend of the Sea" by Geoffrey Jenkins)

Job: Disability Support Worker and student

Studying: Bachelor of Arts with a double major in English Literature

What do I hope to be when I grow up: A University lecturer while being a published author who dabbles in art and photography (nothing like hedging your bets)

Now, down to the important stuff… Why at long last did I finally relent and become a blogger? Well, first because my best friend (who, by the by, is seriously one of the best people I know) suggested it. Second, I find myself in need of another creative outlet while studying. Third, it would be fantastic to get my art (written works, photographs and paintings) out into wider society. And finally, I am interested to find whether it is a relief and release to make my thoughts know to people other than me.

So there it is… my first post… as I re-read this I find that it is leaning on the maudlin, rest assured, dear reader, it will not always be this way…

Until the next time I feel so lead to publish my thoughts...